Movement Is Life

“Without movement life is unthinkable.”

“What I’m after isn’t flexible bodies, but flexible brains. What I’m after is to restore each person to their human dignity.”

“If you know what you are doing, you can do what you want.”

“…To make the impossible possible, the possible easy, and the easy elegant.”

— Moshé Feldenkrais

On a five night retreat, settling into the quiet of self among many others. Listening, walking, sleeping, waking, sitting, walking, receiving what comes. Noticing so much.

Over the last year during my Hakomi training, somehow I became friends with my hypervigilance. A friendly recognition of how quick my mind is, how my mind is counting and organizing, keeping track of the comings and goings of people, what we decided yesterday. I used to think it was effortless — it is going on in the background after all, in my unconscious — but I realized, with a great big sobbing relief sitting on the cushion on retreat just how much energy it takes. It is not free. And to have that energy available again — to imagine it available to me… incredible.

Our home is nestled among twenty-two other homes. I am continually trying to understand how this impacts me. I know it has meant that I’ve retreated. I retreat into myself. I don’t come out. I hold back. I am still holding my breath, who knows how many years it’s been, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe I don’t have to do that anymore.

I am sitting now, practicing the fourth brahma-vihara: equanimity. Balance. Using both my legs to carry me as I run and move and walk and stand. Unwinding the wound up and bound energy. Release.

And reflecting on the grasshopper totem not just as a sign for our journey with Orlando, but for my own journey. Giving myself time, and trusting slowness and and inner stirrings and big ideas. Accepting unorthodox methods of progress. Moving toward unbridled joy. Yay!