I think I’m being nonchalant when I say, “Hey, I have an idea. When you’re in the pool, whenever you feel like putting your face in the water, you can just blow out bubbles. That way you won’t be able to breathe any water in, like last time.”
Orlando says, “But I’m not going to put my face in the water.”
I persist, “I know, but if you wanted to to try it –”
Mica pipes up with an idea, “Maybe he doesn’t feel ready to try it. Like how I feel, I don’t feel ready.”
I can only laugh and admit, “Yeah, it looks like I’m the only whose ready for you guys to stick your faces in.”
Orlando nods, “Yeah…” and adds helpfully, “But you don’t get to choose. We get to choose for our own bodies.”
{Something I’ve said to them many times.}
Another drive in the car in which I look back at these two people who are my children and remember, “That’s right. You’re right.”
I love it when they teach me what I am teaching them.
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totally familiar!!!!!!! yes, we are not always as subtle as we think we are…and we have pretty smart kids. isn’t that fabulous?!
Beautiful moment. They do have so much to teach us, if we will only listen.
cpcable recently posted…Memorial Day
i love the mirror our children provide, a place for us to see ourselves with our agendas, and flaws, and fixed ideas of how to “help” them and yet they hold so much conviction for their own truth and reality, and faith in our ability to rise to new places of being and seeing them for who they truly are, or to return to them…
when I am in this place, my oldest knows me so well, and reminds me with his feet firmly planted that he will have his autonomy, and I open my eyes wide, as I get it (over and over)
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What wise children you have! While you may not have been as nonchalant as you thought in the moment, your boys’ response shows how respectfully they are parented. I’m so glad you share these exchanges.
Melissa recently posted…On Fathers and Equally Shared Parenting
lovely memorable moment!
melissa aka equidae recently posted…Yes you are- and you guys look amazingly happy tog
“But we get to choose for our bodies.” I *love* that. My wish is for everyone on the planet to learn and embody that lesson. And that everyone respects another’s choice for their bodies.
Beautiful. I love what my boys share with me too –
I know this post isn’t about the water, it is about respect. But … it made me think of this so I will share. My oldest is an intense boy and had a few scary moments in the pool which made him feel more scared and rigid about playing as happily in the water as he used to. When we found him a snorkel and mask it changed everything. He has not had the same fear and re-entered the water without the same fear. He swims happy as a fish.
denise recently posted…splash
Thanks, Denise! I love how you presented your suggestion. Orlando had a big scare, too. I got them goggles a while back but they weren’t very comfortable. We’ve got new ones to try (they were excited to order them not sure how they’ll feel about wearing them!).
Hadn’t thought of a snorkel and mask… that’s an idea.
Found this site through a comment you posted at Derfwad Manor. I appreciate your thoughtful style. What treasures! Bookmarked.
Hee! Totally familiar, tho I don’t see you this way at all. I rarely see you have unspoken needs of your own from them. My parents laugh that they can’t figure out whether this style of parenting is super enlightened or just willfully blind (they were never the “kid’s in charge of own body/food/learning/bedtime” sort!), but they happily admit that they can’t argue with how great the kids are, and yours are certainly support for that as well. Thank goodness for our amazing kids! When I think of what astoundingly healthy adults (I think that) they’llbe, I’m staggered.
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Aw, sweet! I’m torn about the new blog…I liked your other one, but this one is great too!
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Wow. Talk about some positive feedback! Love it!
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I was about to suggest goggles too, but I see a previous commenter suggested that already. My 4yo often chose to keep her face out of the water, but now that she’s got goggles she is quite happy to go underwater as long as she can keep one hand pinching her nose shut!
chuckle, my girl is already (at 3) coming out with little sayings I previously said that put me back in my place.
Monica recently posted…joy pockets
LOVE this, Stacy. There are days where I think I’m passing on nothing of value to Isaac, or more realistically, I feel like he isn’t HEARING what I’m trying to pass on. And then, out of no where he’ll turn to me and say, (with regards to sleep, or eating, or using the washroom) “I’m listening to my body, Mama…and if I’m not tired/not hungry/don’t have to “go’ right now…then I need to respect my body.” It’s so nice to see them make those connections, but also for me to be reminded that he IS getting it. It also reminds me to mind my own business. He’s got everything under control.
<3
Debbie recently posted…gathering on the green
Congrats!