Still Working… Life in Cohousing

This is part two of community works, a short series on our lives in cohousing.

In the previous post I wrote about work that is expected and now I’ll share the optional stuff.

Plus a bit of philosophizing about what all this work means.

So, let’s say you’ve fulfilled your responsibilities as a community member and you want to do more. You’re in luck!

Bring on…

The yummy and beautiful stuff

 

Meals
The meals program is “opt-in,” meaning it’s not required that you participate just because you live here, though most people do.

There are eight meals a month, including a meal every Sunday (almost always dinner though sometimes we have brunches). The other four meals occur randomly on a different weekday each week.

It is encouraged that you come when you can and work one shift for every four meals you eat. Shifts are either shopping (one person), cooking (three people, including a lead), or cleaning (two people). Meals are sometimes canceled because there aren’t enough workers signed up, but this way the system is self-regulating.

I usually cook and Rom usually cleans, but we do it on different days so we’re not trading off solo parenting for the entire afternoon and evening. The cooking shifts tend to be 2 1/2 to 3 hours long and the cleaning is often a bit less than that (depends on the meal).

Meal menus are set by the meals committee so as a cook you don’t have to worry about the details — just come and cook!

By the way, we pay for meals. It is four dollars per adult and pay-what-you-will for kids. This covers the cost of the actual food.

That is the main meal program.

There is also a “young families” meal program. There are five couples and nine kids and we eat once a week on Mondays. Each family takes a turn to cook, including shopping, and then everyone helps clean up: some folks watch the kids, some scrub pots, some leave early because they need to.

Young families meals happen a bit earlier than the main meals and often include kid-friendly main courses or options. There is no cost for meals because each family shoulders the cost when it’s their time to cook.

{I am still learning how to cook tasty but not expensive meals in the right quantities. I was SO NERVOUS the first time but it has been a good growing experience for me.}

Our family always goes to the young families meal, and we eat once a week in the main meals program. We found that two community meals a week was plenty for us.

Meals are fun and I enjoy the chance to visit and connect but it can also be an adventure to keep track of the kids and make sure they eat, at least a little bit. Sometimes it works out great, and sometimes we come home a little fried.

Garden
There is a community garden, and the work in it is optional. There are garden work parties every week right now, organized by two community members, and it’s encouraged to come when you can and don’t worry if you can’t.

The garden used to be pea-patch style, with folks having their own plots, but this is the second year with this new model and it has been working really well. The food in the garden is used at community meals and also harvested by individuals — and the best part is that it is right next to our house!

I work. We work. Community works.

So that’s all the physical work, expected and optional.

But beyond the physical work, there is the work of relationship. We didn’t have that when we were traditional homeowners, but that is because we were alone.

Here we are one of twenty-four households, comprised of forty-one adults (ages 20 to 87) and twelve kids (ages 3 to 17)…

That’s a lot of people! And if we were all prickly and solely focused on having our own way or unable to share our feelings or opinions without judgment or blame, it would totally suck to live here.

But that’s not how it is…

Instead there is flexibility, responsiveness, and trust, which reminds me a lot of unschooling and makes living here feel like an expansion of the way that Rom and I have chosen to be as a family.

Living here gives me a clear sense of how my work makes a difference and of how we each give to each other. It’s not about tit-for-tat, but rather about the belief that in the end we’re better off for having been more connected than not.

I love that people here assume positive intent in one another, and choose to find ways of supporting others’ capacities and abilities at any given time (rather than assuming the worst, complaining, or becoming resentful — wouldn’t that be fun!?).

I love that if things are askew or feeling unbalanced, there is an opportunity to talk things over, skillfully and kindly, with the ultimate intention to find a mutually beneficial solution.

I love that when I am cooking a meal for everyone, I can appreciate the meals others have prepared for me.
I love seeing people work in the garden, understanding that their work will become food that I eat.

I know that Marleen puts in many hours doing our financial and condo docs and makes it possible for us to experience stability as a community.

I love the beehive feeling of work parties, where everyone is out and about, working alone or in clumps, on all different projects but somehow of the whole.

Yes, it takes work to live this way. There’s no way around that.
But to me it doesn’t feel like work.

It feels like living.