13 responses to “Feeling My Feelings”

  1. Michelle @ The Parent Vortex

    Thank you for this post. I have been feeling that urge to control things a lot lately and it is so refreshing to see how a real situation can be when we just mindfully feel our feelings.

  2. debbiedas

    Oh YES! Fred and I are working so hard on letting go of our control as parents – working on discussing feelings and needs and using a different language to communicate. And…it's working. Isaac has been really absorbing what he is hearing and while I know we have a long way to go, it so pleases me to see signs of progress. :)

    Thank you for sharing your experience. I always learn so much from them. xo ~Debbie

  3. Erin

    Oh, does this dynamic resonate with me! It's often a situation where I turn from parenting my kids to attempting to parent/control what my partner is doing, especially when we are all together somewhere…the car, the campground, the kitchen, the park…. Hmmmm. I wonder why I feel that need to have him aligned with me? And why it is so uncomfortable to just let. him. be. And concentrate on my own feelings? I like how this turned around for you, and how it was okay to feel…and accept…and feel and allow…and be with it.

    I would love to turn from needing my partner to "get it" and just allowing him to be wherever he is, however "unenlightened" I may perceive him to be in the moment. I know you were getting to a different place, Stacy, that is just what occurred to me about my shifts with myself. I needed to read this this morning as the sideways rain made the kitchen feel tiny while french toast wasn't coming fast enough to sooth the hunger…empathy worked, but I had to let go of expecting my partner to "get it" first!

    ~Erin xo

  4. anushka

    what a great lesson. i like this. and i love the way your story unfolded. thank you.

  5. tonia

    This is beautiful Stacy! I so relate to the personalities in your foursome. I love seeing how Orlando carried this in himself.

  6. Stacy (Mama-Om)

    @michelle — yes to mindfully feeling! I notice sometimes that I sometimes tend to notice my feelings but sort of dismiss them at the same time. It is wonderful when I can manage to create a space in which the feelings can just be, come and go as they need.

    @debbiedas — That is so sweet to hear about Isaac. I find that my kids have so much less to “unlearn” and can really integrate these new ways. But then again the progress can always surprise me, seeming to spring up out of silence… and thank you, Debbie, for sharing YOUR experiences. So glad we found each other!

    @erin — I love how much of your process you share here. I definitely hear you on the spouse-control issue. It is one I struggle with too… the irony was not lost one me when I really started looking into my heart to find ways of parenting respectfully yet could still be so intense with my husband. :) But I find that the space I can hold for myself and others, Rom included, is increasing over time.

  7. Jen

    Beautiful post Stacy. You and your boys always inspire me!

  8. growingflowers

    Yes! This totally speaks to me too. If we could all allow not only ourselves to feel our feelings, but to allow our children and spouses to as well – gosh. Wouldn't that be amazing…..to really have it be ok. Oh it brings up so many questions….
    love Kiersten

  9. CoffeeJitters

    well that gave me a little lump in my throat. I could use a lesson from your kids. Beautiful.

  10. Anonymous

    Oh, I love this!
    They take cues from us. We can give them coping skills if we choose. Thank you, thank you!
    Happy Valentine's Day, to you and your boys!

  11. mb

    sweet! what a moment of victory to hear those words from orlando, i imagine. this really resonates for me. i have been in what i think of sometimes as remedial feelings class for a few years now lol. this is where it's at. i love the way you express it. :)

  12. Stacy (Mama-Om)

    @growningflowers — yes, it is the path for me, a big dream actually, to allow my children and my spouse that space, too. I had this very tiny kernel of an idea for a long time before I even got pregnant. But I had no idea what a journey it would be, and how necessary feeling my own feelings would be to allowing them to feel theirs…

    @mb — I love it, remedial feelings class! We’re all there. Really! But that's the beauty: we learn, we grow, we connect.

  13. Woman Laughing

    That's wonderful … "Feeling my feelings." We all need to do this more often, feel and let go. Your children sound amazing.

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