22 responses to “Not Doing Everything”

  1. Katy

    Not doing everything at my house is: madam's art stuff everywhere, dishes are done,but not put away, and please don't open cupboards or drawers cause I definately don't do anything there – but we have great music always, lots of laughs and my "disorganisation" has become my happy trademark x

  2. Ali

    Knitting, worrying that I should be sewing. Playing with one, worrying about the other. Cooking, thinking I should be resting. Never cleaning! Regularly laughing at myself!

  3. Kiersten

    It looks like me lying in my bed on a HEAP of colorful pillows and blankets – one that I crocheted for Kaya for Christmas – laundry piles around me, my laptop on my lap on the phone working out a billing question for an unassisted birth turned assisted, chocolate next to me, one kid in the bath the other on a bike ride, deeply bathed and clean, books stacked on every surface, a fresh carrot cake made by kaya, a cuisinart full of grated carrot and many dishes on a sunny counter, but the dishwasher is empty and ready to be filled….our bellies filled and a toddler on his way over to spend the afternoon with us…….
    That's what it looks like over here right now……
    love you,

  4. jena strong

    It looks like reclaiming our lives, ourselves. Which is the only way we are ever going to get anything done.

  5. slim pickins

    dear lady, i wrote a sort of response to you in a post at the plot – but right now it looks like sleeping kids and a pile of dishes, dirty napkins and full bellies, bags of projects, bags of road-trip snacks, bags of books – and an hour before bed to do something…or not…!!

  6. underthebigbluesky

    it looks much like yours, especially the nothing for dinner on the computer part.

    i felt like i could have written this post. i battle myself constantly as if i'm a struggling slob of a perfectionist. is that possible?

    sometimes there is not enough hours in the day, and if everyone smiles at least once and has something in there belly, I say fine.

  7. Nona

    It's so lovely to know that our thoughts are just thoughts and we get to, as you so nicely put it, just notice them and move on.

    Doing something today looks like a lot of rest (after H1N1), a little writing, some meditation and yoga, and some relaxing family time this evening. It definitely does NOT include any cleaning. At all.

  8. Jen

    Stacy..I can't tell you how often your posts reflect something I was just thinking/talking about ..it is crazy! In my house not doing everything looks like a pile of laundry folded but not put away, a clean kitchen with a dish rack and sink full of dishes, 4 full sharps containers overflowing, kitties food and water dishes full but the mat underneath it a filthy mess…
    i am trying to learn not to let everything left not done make me so stressed out!! it is a challenge..

  9. Tara @ TheOrganicSister

    Love picturing the moment when it made you laugh at it. It is absurb what we do to ourselves sometimes isn't it?

    Right now, not doing it all means I have two loads of wet laundry waiting to be hung, misc dishes on the counter, too many projects to count and have yet to eat breakfast.

    But Zeb is with his Gma today and I'm taking some time for *me* instead of worrying about my house. :P

  10. Megan@SortaCrunchy

    yelling and apologizing – thank you for that.

    Oh, let's see. Working through my Google Reader to connect with amazing women while folded laundry sits for days waiting to be drawered.

    Last night's dishes waited until this morning so I could snuggle my husband in front of the TV a little bit last night.

    Leaving for a weekend trip in a few hours – haven't packed, but I made cookies with my girls.

    There's more – much more – but I do feel quite liberated.

  11. Julie

    Funny because I realised just this afternoon that I CAN'T do it all, and only made everyone miserable in the trying.

    Not doing everything today here looked like: getting the car fixed and doing some Christmas shopping while it was in the garage (good) and having a lovely moment with my daughter at the cafe post shopping as we enjoyed tea (me) cake (her) and each other (both of us). After that it was downhill: doing washing, not being ready for my mum coming over, piles of clean, damp and dirty washing all over, making me feel in a mess. Trying to do stuff with my mum, whilst feeling that I wasn't honouring my daughter; rushing to collect my son from school as we'd tried to fit in too much before I was due to leave. Rushing home to get him to football club, per his request, but feeling guilty as to whether he should go, or honour the familytime. Being snappy with him and my mum, rather than being present and enhancing her visit.

    Morals of the story: laundry can wait; chores can wait; my mum and her grandson have a great relationship with flexibility and understanding, providing I don't try to get in the way; being present for the ones we love is the MOST important job of the day – the rest can wait or be done another time; I function best when I am not overcommitted or rushing, which allows me to be a better person for those around me.

  12. hippiecoolchick

    Mmmmm, I love this post. You so often seem to write my heart, and better than I could begin to articulate it!

    Today not doing everything looks like getting the elder child to school almost on time, a long but useful shopping trip, not getting the challah in the oven till well after noon, some library time with the boys, getting to synagogue almost on time, tucking in tired children while the laundry waits in the dryer, and (finally at 11 p.m.) finishing the baking for tomorrow morning's synagogue breakfast.

    Tomorrow — who knows? I'm hoping desperately that it will look like the baby napping and then the three of us walking in the sun while (boo hoo) my husband works.

  13. mermaid

    There's play-doh on the floor, with some sticking to my 4 year old daughter's socks and some underneath my fingernails. Library books are everywhere. There's kleenex and purell on the dining room table for my daughter's runny nose.

    Your story of The Other Mother was compassionate, to yourself and all the readers who forget that love is born first from within pouring out to water the seeds of all life.

  14. Green Mamma

    I like that you point out that having a babysitter can keep balance in a family. With my first child I felt so guilty asking others for help; this time around we have a babysitter and I speak up when I need help with our baby.

    Second, my house is probably too clean and too organized, but I am healing from anxiety and depression (ppd) and keeping a tight ship helps me feel better (though I am in therapy for childhood issues (criticism); I'm pretty sure that's where the "voices" that say my house needs to "be" a certain way are coming from)j.

  15. threegirlpileup

    finished knitting projects; clutter on the floor that I have to wade through; hand-sewn clothes for my girls; a huge pile of papers on my desk, laundry that is clean, sometimes folded, but rarely put away; strategically chosen clutter-free zones, sometimes surrounded by piles of clutter; a garden that needs really really needs weeding but is still producing food for us; hair that is washed less often than I'd like; lots and lots of pauses for love and hugs and reading together and art projects and more love.

  16. Lisa - edenwild

    This post really hit home with me today. I feel like I am falling apart. I know I don't need to do everything, but the NOT doing is making me feel overwhelmed, and certain NOT doing actually makes me quite unstable (like not eating balanced meals or getting out into the fresh air on a daily basis). I'm trying to figure out what I can NOT do, and be okay. I really would love a helper. I really would love it if someone could come help me with those things that I feel need doing, but that I can't do all by myself. I can only let so much go before I fall apart.

  17. taimarie

    knitting beside three baskets of (clean but unfolded) laundry. sorting toys and getting rid of a bunch while my studio is so crammed I can't get in there. pasta for supper again. letting the baby empty out the tea boxes onto the floor so I can have a few quiet moments to read your blog!

  18. woowoomama

    i have read this one several times since you put it up. it is pretty great but you know it is also one of those ones that is so hard to really take in.

    thanks for all your comments over at my blog the other day. they fed me. it is great connecting with mama's who help me think, stop thinking, be and grow as person and a mom through the internets :)

  19. renee @ FIMBY

    a lot like what you just said. Found you from Steady mOM

  20. cypress sun

    this post made me tear up a bit, but with a smile. sometime in the past week or two, i finally realized something spectacular. that not doing everything at my house looks like all of the above AND a DH coming home in the evening with absolutely no concern for any of it….completely tuned into the faces of his loves. somehow this helped me to feel a little less bothered by the endless coming and going of clutter and chaos!

  21. Kelli

    Thanks for this post. My husband told me a few days ago that we haven't had a "tidy" house in our ten years of marriage, and I need to get over it. I have been struggling, especially since becoming a mother with all the things I want to do and I usually put them before housecleaning. I am trying to do better, particularly with clutter and getting rid of stuff.
    Not doing everything… it looks like a whole lot really. :)

  22. rebecca @ altared spaces

    I don't understand this post completely. And that feels lovely. It feels like I found a zen koan. A place for my mind to play.

    I can feel it beckoning me in. Sit here for awhile. There is rest here, it is saying. I think this will be playing in me, turning over so the meaning will surface like what the tide leaves behind.

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